Journal7

Ian Apgar Honors English I  Mrs. Detwiler April 14, 2011  The Loss Of Innocence: The Ian Apgar Story The day was great, warm and sunny with only a light breeze. Ian Apgar and his Dad, Andrew Apgar, were just about ready to proceed with their everyday routine. This was get home, finish homework, go out to eat, and then get on their way to the gym. While they were out to eat the had to make a decision on which way they should go to the gym; they were either going to take Canal to Hanover or just shoot strait down route 30. This time they decided to go through Dover and ride on Canal until they got to the East Berlin circle. They finally got on their way, but no sooner then they had started, they hit traffic at the Dover Square. Andrew started to get worried that some thing had happened and that they were going to be late. Despite all of their worries, it was just that the light was out and it was causing a traffic jam. The line of cars was backed up for at least half of a mile. They got through it in no time at all and as they came up to the light, it immediately turned green. As soon as they got through the light, then headed back on their way. Later on, they were coming around a sharp turn when Andrew hit the brakes and they skidded to a stop. There in front of them was a car accident. There was an old van, which looked like it had been flipped a few times, up on a bank and a black SUV in the middle of the road that looked as if it had been t-boned. "Ian don't look, don't look," he said quickly. He looked at his son with great concern. "Stay here," he remembers saying "I'm going to see if every one is alright," (Apgar). "Ok then," Ian said. Andrew was only out for about ten minutes before the police got there, and when they did, they just told him to get back into the car. He got in and started to talk to his son how horrific the scene was and that he never wanted to see it again. He had told him that there was trash everywhere from the car. It had apparently flown out of the car when the windows had broke in. He started to explain that there nay be some dead people involved, but quickly stopped when the police walked up to their car and asked him to back up and move to the side so the ambulance could get through. As he did, he saw the red and white lights coming around the bend, and then just fly right by his window. And they immediately both knew that some one was either seriously hurt or dead. "Would you like to talk about it?" he asked (Apgar). "No, I'm fine," Ian said. "Ok, well if you do, then just let me know, " he answered back. “Ok, I well if I need.” Said Ian. So they just sat there, speechless. Neither one of them wanted to say the first word, worrying that they would make things even more awkward. It was just about 4:00 when they finally got directed around the accident, the only problem is that Ian had to start gym at 4:00 and they were still a half hour away. They got directed by a kind man onto a street that they weren't familiar with, but neither one of them wanted to ask for directions because they didn't want to cause any more trouble. So they just kept driving, hoping that they would find some road that they were familiar with, but they didn't.  They drove for about an hour until they finally came to a place that they recognized. They ended up exactly where they were on their way, which it just took them an extra hour. Then it took them another twenty minutes to get from the East Berlin circle to Hanover. When they finally got to the gym, they just sat in the car for a little while and talked to each other, just to make sure each was okay. "Are you alright," Andrew remembers asking. "Yea, I'm fine, just a little shaken up. Do you think that could have been us, if we would have left just a few minutes earlier?" Ian asked. "Well I highly doubt," Andrew said to him. So they both headed inside to the gym, and Ian went off to practice. Andrew decided to sit up in the balcony that day, and watch over his son, just to make sure that his son was actually okay. That night Ian didn't do a lot of practicing, but he did sit around a lot and think about the accident that had just occurred. He couldn't focus at all and every thing he did was either off or really bad. His dad even noticed that he was off. <span style="line-height: 200%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: .5in;">Ian was in the state of denying that that had happened. When a person is in the state of denial, they don’t believe that the situation has happened and they try to go on to their life. They also try to tell themselves that every thing is going to be all right and that they are not affected by the incident. Also he or she will close their eyes to any evidence that may be present or shown. The one way that works most of the time to move some one from the anger stage is to make them angry or provoke them. Either tell them about the future or tell them that it isn’t fair. Another way that you can provoke them is for the other person to get mad, then legitimizing that they get angry(Shear). <span style="line-height: 200%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: .5in;"> There are five state of grieving and he was in state number one. The next ones are anger, bargaining, depression, and then acceptance. For each of these stages, there is some ways that one can tell another is in. For example, they will talk or they may think differently then they usually do. Ian will have to go through al of the different stages, but there isn’t a set amount of time that people take to go through these stages. Every one is different; it could take a week for one person but it could take a year for another (Christian). <span style="line-height: 200%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: .5in;">There are many things that can help one get through the grieving process. Fro example, if you go to your doctor he or she might proscribe a medicine that one can be on. The doctor may even describe an anti-depression, but just because some one is sad doesn’t mean that they are depressed. Another way that some one can get help is by going to a facility for help, like a grieving center or therapy(Christain). <span style="line-height: 200%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: .5in;">Ian could have gone to “Olivia’s House” if her really needed some help with grieving. This facility is a child’s grieving center that specializes in helping children of all ages deal with their emotions from every situation. One can find Olivia’s House on 830 South George Street in York, Pennsylvania. One can also contact them by calling (717)-699-1133 or by going on to their website at [|www.oliviashouse.org]. There are also many other facilities and people in York County that can help one who is having trouble grieving or is depressed(Olivia). Luckily, after just talking with his parents and his friends, Ian got over his experience in just a week. This is a relatively short time for some one of his age to get over an accident, but he did it. He even remembers seeing the accident in the newspaper and seeing that it was one his Dad's student's grandparents(Andrew). That was Ian's experience with his loss of innocence.

Works Cited Apgar, Andrew. Personal Interview. 17, March. 2011.    Christian, Margena A. "How to cope with the loss of a loved one. (Lifestyles)." //Jet// 14 July 2003. 30+. //Student Resource Center - Gold.// Web. 31 Mar. 2011.    //Olivia's House//. Web. 05 May 2011. < []  >. Shear, Katherine. "Medical Treatm ﻿ ent May Reduce the Pain of Grief." //Opposing// <span style="line-height: 200%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: .5in;"> //Viewpoints: Death and Dying//. Ed. James Haley. San Diego: Greenhaven <span style="line-height: 200%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: .5in;"> Press, 2003. //Opposing Viewpoints Resource Center//. Web. 7 Apr. 2011.